well it’s 10:00 on a banal Wednesday night and I’m sitting in my own personal jail cell listening to this song called the way I am by some Ingrid chick. It’s exactly the type of typical “trying to be indie” kind of crap that I secretly love. The fact that I can stomach this song only leads me to the conclusion that I really do like a large variety of different kinds of music. All genres….almost.
alright enough, time for some nirvana served with a steaming platter of self loathing. I find it almost impossible to listen to nirvana and not end up hating your being or any being for that matter.
Today went by painfully slow, as will all my remaining days as the ayre’s family bitch. These next 7 days are going to be sheer torture. It’s just awk because I’m sure they know that I don’t want to be in Hinsdale anymore than I want to be in utah aka land of dry skin aka my death. At least the kids are going back to school next week, I’m running out of ways to entertain them without like lighting my self on fire and doing a little dance.
“do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.” HAH, unlikely.
I’m in a very cynical mood right now, perhaps because I finished sloppy seconds in one day and that book is as cynical as Kendra from the girls next door is stupid. Hence, my cynical, sarcastic, and (sad attempt at being) witty @itude.
@itude, hah, it just goes to show that I can never cease to amuse myself. I’m probs my biggest fan when it comes to my humor, that’s kind of sad.
I realized that my life is kind of sad, not in a boohoo way, in a way wow-i-am-pathetic-get-a-fucking-grip kind of way. With the new year I’m going to try and just laugh at myself more. I do that a lot because I never fail to make myself look a lot less intelligent then I actually am. although I am trying to keep any sort of smiling slash laughter to a minimum and not because I am trying to be emo, but because my fake tooth fell off of my retainer and it looks bogus. I’m a girl, I’m allowed to get vain about missing teeth, sue me.
well its about that time for my bedtime antihistamine cocktail (as i cannot seem to kick this cold, man fuck winter in it's frosty ass) followed by some floor lounging while listening to third eye blind. Then I will watch the latest gossip girl that I downloaded from itunes and hate myself for watching it and giving in to my girly tendencies.
“serve the servants, oh no.” 10:22 pm
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
oh seven
“so this is the new year, and I don’t feel any different.”
It’s true, it is now 2008 and I really don’t feel any different. But was I expecting to? I don’t think so, I cant really say that I was expecting anything. I honestly don’t see what is so special about new years anyways, like omg the year changed…cuz it doesn’t do that every year. Woohoo, let’s get wasted or some shit. Except I didn’t even get wasted.
2007 was quite a year for me, a lot happened and a lot didn’t happen. I went through various stages of finding myself, some of those stages (like the infamous slutty, stupid, bitch stage) were not good and some were. I guess they were all necessary steps in becoming who I am at this juncture in my life.
What really happened even? graduating, moving back to Evanston, and my baby brother being born are the only big milestones I can think of, that and like going to college and then leaving but fuck that. I’m trying to repress that memory. I drank a lot, smoked a lot, hooked up with dudes cuz I was a moron (and still am in that department…although I no longer slut it up like I used to), and I learned a lot about myself and what I want…at least I think I did…maybe.
I am glad that I made a lot of new friends, it's amazing how you meet people. thank you anne-marie.
I look back at 2007 and feel like some of it never happened. I look back and wish that some of it never happened.
I guess it’s stupid to be regretful about certain elements of 2007 because it happened and me wishing it hadn’t doesn’t change anything. I need to stop dwelling on the past.
I need to stop being so fucking emo, good lord.
Ok..new years resolutions
1) lose weight (duh) but in a healthy way
2) excersise daily, which I guess ties in resolution numero uno but whatevs
3) have more self confindence
4) not be so emo, i'm suffocating myself with my emonosity, seriously. even that phrase was emo.
5) learn slash gain more intelligence then i have already aquired (heh heh, that was me being arrogant)
6) not be a moron when it comes to boyzzzz
7) stop beating myself up about stupid shit
8) volunteer at least once a week
I guess that’s a pretty good list yeah? I feel like they are all attainable which is a good thing. I just need the motivation to get ‘er done, which is rather difficult as I am probs one of the laziest people on the planet.
2008….i wonder if it’ll be more exciting that 2007. I’m very much looking forward to see how it will unfold. 4:33 pm
It’s true, it is now 2008 and I really don’t feel any different. But was I expecting to? I don’t think so, I cant really say that I was expecting anything. I honestly don’t see what is so special about new years anyways, like omg the year changed…cuz it doesn’t do that every year. Woohoo, let’s get wasted or some shit. Except I didn’t even get wasted.
2007 was quite a year for me, a lot happened and a lot didn’t happen. I went through various stages of finding myself, some of those stages (like the infamous slutty, stupid, bitch stage) were not good and some were. I guess they were all necessary steps in becoming who I am at this juncture in my life.
What really happened even? graduating, moving back to Evanston, and my baby brother being born are the only big milestones I can think of, that and like going to college and then leaving but fuck that. I’m trying to repress that memory. I drank a lot, smoked a lot, hooked up with dudes cuz I was a moron (and still am in that department…although I no longer slut it up like I used to), and I learned a lot about myself and what I want…at least I think I did…maybe.
I am glad that I made a lot of new friends, it's amazing how you meet people. thank you anne-marie.
I look back at 2007 and feel like some of it never happened. I look back and wish that some of it never happened.
I guess it’s stupid to be regretful about certain elements of 2007 because it happened and me wishing it hadn’t doesn’t change anything. I need to stop dwelling on the past.
I need to stop being so fucking emo, good lord.
Ok..new years resolutions
1) lose weight (duh) but in a healthy way
2) excersise daily, which I guess ties in resolution numero uno but whatevs
3) have more self confindence
4) not be so emo, i'm suffocating myself with my emonosity, seriously. even that phrase was emo.
5) learn slash gain more intelligence then i have already aquired (heh heh, that was me being arrogant)
6) not be a moron when it comes to boyzzzz
7) stop beating myself up about stupid shit
8) volunteer at least once a week
I guess that’s a pretty good list yeah? I feel like they are all attainable which is a good thing. I just need the motivation to get ‘er done, which is rather difficult as I am probs one of the laziest people on the planet.
2008….i wonder if it’ll be more exciting that 2007. I’m very much looking forward to see how it will unfold. 4:33 pm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)